The Manchester Jazz Festival launched last Friday night and we were lucky enough to have been invited down to soak up the atmosphere and share a little snifter of wine or two with the organisers. It was a nice relaxing affair, as perhaps you might imagine, enlivened by an interesting, music-based concept – everyone at the gathering was given a round black sticker, to be placed on a large musical stave pinned to the wall of the festival’s temporary home, the Pavilion in Albert Square. These notes were placed quite randomly by the collected officials and media freeloaders (that’s us) and then...this is the good bit...sight read by a saxophonist to launch the festival. The result wasn’t exactly Eric Alexander, but it did have a certain charm (probably entirely thanks to the skills of the man with the sax rather than our collected sticker efforts). We caught the moment in time, rather shakily, on video:
We like to keep up with what’s new amongst Manchester’s bars, restaurants and clubs (that is, after all, our job) and a few weeks ago we listed a new cafe planned for Chorlton Street, Manchester, called Kitsch.We didn’t know much about it at the time, as is the way with such things.Truth be told, we’d just seen that they had submitted a licensing application – the rest was pure speculation.We’ve found some more information now though, in the form of a funny little note:
Interesting.I like the idea that serving ‘home cooked favourites with a modern twist’ will ‘take the guilt away from eating out’.Because I always sit in restaurants feeling guilty, don’t you?Eating out should be, and is, a pleasure.An opportunity to indulge, experiment and relax.How many times do you have a starter at home (apart from a cheeky bit of cheese)?That’s what eating out is for – starters, mains and desserts; a bottle of wine on a school night; not having to do the washing up.That’s why it costs actual money, isn’t it?And if I’m paying I’m not going to start feeling guilty about it.Guilt free eating out, that’s what I’m all about.
Every year a car park under Piccadilly Station undergoes something of an alter-ego transformation. It remains a car park by day but at night, once the vehicles have gone and their commuter owners returned to life in suburbia, the car park takes on a life of its own. The Warehouse Project take over, installing a massive sound system, bars, stage and...well, that’s about it really. What more do you need for a massive party? The Warehouse Project has become one of the countries (if not the world’s) biggest set of underground gigs, attracting massive names from the worlds of techno, drum and bass, house, indie and electronica.
They were voted the ninth best club in the world by DJ Magazine this year and have just announced their plans for this year, which you can see in full here. They transform the car park into its night time guise for the first time on 23 September 2010 and carry on all the way through to the New Year, closing the doors, as is their wont, on New Year’s Day. This year you can expect the usual eclectic mix of artists global and local, including Ian Brown, Delphic, Kelis, Maximo Park, Paul Van Dyk, Doves, DOOM and Pete Tong, with literally hundreds of others joining the bills through the months.
And if you’re wondering how a car park can transform into one of the best clubs in the world, The Warehouse Project have helpfully provided a picture to illustrate just that:
That’s...err...obviously it with the lights out. It is cool though - trust us.
A shopping centre in Rochdale has installed squat toilets to ‘improve the service they offer the community’, many of whom are of Indian or Pakistani origin, where squat toilets are preferred for hygiene and cultural reasons. There are also ‘normal’ toilets there, for those of you who prefer to sit rather than squat. (Rochdale, that is, not India or Pakistan.I don’t think you get much choice over there).
I have in my time used a number of squat toilets, all of them abroad. Most people think of them as being purely the reserve of Asia but there are many much closer to home. France and Italy, particularly, are pretty keen on them – I’ve stayed on many a campsite where the only option is to crouch in order to...err...relieve oneself. That crouch, incidentally, is one of the reasons they are preferred by some – it helps...how do I put this in terms my mother wouldn’t mind reading...get everything out. There, that’ll do. Which is fine and, in fact, I don’t have a particular problem with that theory – it works, I am happy to report from experience. It’s not so much fun when you’re bleary eyed and still a bit wobbly from sleep on a campsite in France, having spent days on end cycling nonstop. Then, I am not so happy to report, a little choice wouldn’t go amiss. Tipping over, in these circumstances, is not an option. It is, however, sometimes unavoidable, I can report from experience.
What, I hear you ask, has this got to with anything? Well, apart from the Rochdale connection, not a lot. This is a blog, remember. What more do you want, a picture? Oh, go on then.
NB: This is not in Rochdale, just a generic squat toilet picture.
Like food?Like wallets?Then why not get yourself a Deluxe Bacon Wallet!Yes, seriously.Have a look:
For the easily confused amongst you, that’s not actually a wallet made from bacon.That would smell and most likely cause unwanted attention from dogs.It’s a wallet made to look like bacon; a novelty item, I believe they are called.
There’s all sorts of rubbish...I mean, novelty items...on the site it’s available from.How about a ‘Gin and Titonic’ ice cube tray?It makes ice cubes in the shape of a ship (the Titanic) and an iceberg!See:
Amazing.How about a pencil case shaped like a taco?
OK, I’ll stop now.I suppose I’d better link to the site where you can buy these amazing things.It’s in America though, naturally.
Incidentally, we have no affiliation with this site. Someone showed me the bacon wallet and I thought it was funny – that’s kind of how this blog works really.
This whole ‘digital age’ thing has sort of settled in a bit now, right?And it’s a good thing, I think.I wouldn’t have a job if it didn’t exist.At least, not the job I do.You’d think most people would be used to it by now too, wouldn’t you?I mean, most people know, for example, what a mobile phone is, right?And that some of them have developed to such an advanced stage that they can, for example, take photos.And videos.
These developments are apparently not welcomed by some people; certainly not appreciated.Like the Manchester bus driver who refused to be even minimally cooperative with a wheelchair-bound woman who needed the assistance of a ramp to get off of his bus.The woman’s son had his mobile phone handy; the phone has a video function.You get the idea.
It seems its one rule for some, another for the rest of us. Not content with inflicting this great nation with such musical atrocities as Shayne Ward (hello to his fan club, by the way, if you’re still reading) and all the other tuneless desperates, Simon Cowell is also bent on flouting basic civil laws...and getting away with it.
The X Factor was in Manchester at the weekend, for those of you who didn’t know, the big news being that the nation’s princess Cheryl Cole was being replaced by Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger; Ms Cole having been inflicted by mosquito disease of choice, Malaria, after spending weeks in Africa feeding starving children with M&S meals bought with her own unfathomable fortune. What‘s that? Oh, that’s not true, she was just on holiday at a luxury resort in Tanzania.
Anyway, it’s possible Nicole was actually in to replace ‘new mum’ Danni Minogue, I’ve just learnt having read the newspaper properly, but...well, who cares. Back to the matter in hand – Cowell arrived in Manchester in his Rolls Royce, pulled up on the pavement, stuck the hand break on and went into his hotel. A traffic warden walked past, looked at the illegally parked vehicle, and walked on without doing anything. Look – someone was even there to capture the moment for us:
Regular readers will know that Manchester has a habit of attracting flippant celebrity drivers, our penchant for footballer-based themes being more than adequately catered for by those ball kickers with a taste for luxury cars. So what for Mr Cowell, then? Well, first and foremost an enquiry with the council as to why wealth and fame seem to provide immunity to minor traffic offences. Secondly, perhaps the introduction of a Swiss-inspired system, whereby offenders receive fines proportionate to their personal wealth. A millionaire got caught speeding there not so long ago – he got fined £180,000.
Watching the news this week, rather idly whilst eating my breakfast (a bowl of cereal and some apple juice), a face appeared on the screen that rather put me off my morning consumption – Hazel Blears. We’ve talked about Hazel ‘I’ll just put that flat on expenses’ Blears on here before. I won’t put you through the inconvenience of another picture of her face.
So what was Blears on about this time? Apologising for buying a Lamborghini on expenses, because she didn’t quite understand the rules? No, not this time. This time she’s getting all self righteous about the planned Power Station live music venue which is due to submit its proposal to the council shortly. For those of you not up with this development, it’s a big gig venue planned for a warehouse in the industrial wasteland of Trafford Park. ‘Manchester’s O2’ is how they’re billing it. Full story here.
So what’s Blears got to do with it? Well, she’s MP for Salford and Eccles (yes, still!) and has jumped on the bandwagon with the elderly Salford Quays residents who oppose The Power Station in order to secure the votes of the elderly majority of her constituency...sorry, I mean she’s really concerned about the disruption to the lives of the Salford Quays residents.
She’s quoted in the press as saying: “This development is in a totally unsuitable location, so close to residential areas, and will have a big impact on the quality of life of people living in Salford Quays.” Let’s just take a look at that location – we got a seven year old to do some photoshop work for us: So to clarify – A is the proposed main entrance of the ‘superclub’, from where punters will be dropped off and collected, B is the building itself, C is the Imperial War Museum North, D is a couple of large, noise absorbing office buildings, E is water and the area roughly highlighted above is the loosely defined ‘closest residents’.
In an effort to appease the vocal public outcry from the Sleepless in Salford collective, the people behind The Power Station held some public consultations the other week to try and answer questions and welcome some input from local residents before they put their official application in. One of the main concerns was, predictably, noise. This was answered with the statement that plans were in place to invest a large amount of money in sound proofing the building and, to be honest, you probably won’t hear it anyway. That didn’t stop Blears though – the major disruption to people’s lives, she was claiming on the news, would come directly from ‘people being dropped off and picked up late at night, slamming car doors.’ Brilliant. Now the massive sound system has been dealt with let’s move on to the next most inconvenient thing – car doors being slammed.
In truth this, like many such things, boils down to people reading the Daily Mail too much.A new large club in the locale will, obviously, result in drink and drugged fuelled youths rampaging previously-quiet neighbourhoods and causing untold pain to local residents.The fact that most of the nimbys probably live on the eighth floor of some distant apartment block, facing the opposite way and nowhere near the club or its detritus, is, of course, irrelevant.Still, it gives them something to gossip about in between lunch at Harvey Nicks and afternoon tea in the Lowry hotel.
This has a story to it – something about evolution.I just like it for its ingenuity and the amount of effort and time that went into it.What an amazing vision; even more amazing to be able to realise it.
