Everyone likes a bit of a sing along every now and again, right? In the shower, maybe, or when you’ve got your favourite song on loud in the house and there’s no one else there. Not, perhaps, in the middle of the street...constantly...the same songs over and over again. Such is the infliction of a group of residents in Salford who have been ‘entertained’ by a local Rastafarian on a daily basis for the last few years. His songs of choice are those by Bob Marley, perhaps unsurprisingly, as well as preaching from the bible.
The reason he’s in the news this week is because he’s been given an ASBO preventing him from ‘'chanting', 'bawling' and 'talking loudly' in the street’. You can imagine it might get a touch annoying, can’t you, even if he was a good singer. Because you would expect someone who sings so much, and so publicly, to be a half decent singer, right? Ahem...
A number of years ago I had an argument in a pub with a female work colleague at the time. It centred around the notion that there are some people in this country who are happy to sit back and take dole money (as it was called then) without actively seeking employment or wishing to enter into employment. My colleague refused to accept that there were people who did this – everyone, she argued, who took benefits was fully entitled to them and fully abided the associated rules. I chose to side with reality and argued that there were probably thousands who were neither fully entitled to them or fully abided the rules. She told me to prove it. I pointed out that I was in a pub drinking a pint (bought with cash earned through employment, I might add) and didn’t feel inclined. She called me a fascist, which I thought was a little harsh, not to mention misguided. It wasn’t my point that everyone claiming was a cheat, just some, but regardless, we spoke little thereafter.
The reason for my nostalgia today is the news that individuals claiming benefits in Greater Manchester are going to be fitness tested to determine the reality of their unsuitability, or otherwise, for gainful employment. This means around 130,000 people will be visiting their GP to have a variety of tests inflicted upon them with the express purpose of finding out who, to put it frankly, is a bloody liar. The tasks they will be asked to perform include ‘climbing the stairs’ and ‘picking up objects from the floor’, which were presumably selected for their complexity and physically demanding nature. I jest, of course, but it does raise a rather obvious question – if someone’s on benefits for having a ‘bad back’ (note the inverted commas), surely a little wincing, grasping of the lower back and yelps of pain when reaching down for the doctor’s pen is all it’s going to take to secure another year’s worth of cash?
Anyway, the thing that really interested me about this news was the photo the MEN chose to help illustrate the story:
It’s always the fatties that get picked on, isn’t it?
Those of you with strictly mainstream tastes in televised entertainment, and those of you not living in or near Manchester, may not be aware that Manchester has its own TV station - Channel M. It broadcasts shows on...well, I’ve never watched it, I have to admit, so don’t really know. Let me have a quick look.
OK, I’ve had a quick look here and am none the wiser – a bit of local news and sport, by the looks of it. Perhaps I should be a little more supportive of a regional broadcasting initiative. Or maybe not – it seems to me there’s enough TV in the world already.
I digress, as is my wont – the reason I started talking about Channel M is because it’s emerged this week that it has been granted three teleshopping licences and this seems to have inspired mirth in many – perhaps it’s the idea of Manchester having its own teleshopping channel, a la the infamous QVC. For the uninitiated amongst you, this is the sort of thing you might expect:
Volume is a bonus on that clip, but not essential.
Makes you wonder what a Mancunian version of QVC would sell. At the risk of offending any stalwart Mancunians reading this, here’s a few ideas: Umbrellas, Hacienda memorabilia, Oasis and Ian Brown CDs, tracksuits...I think I’ll stop there. Any other ideas?
If there’s one thing you don’t see much of in Manchester, it’s naked people.This is a pity but, considering the climate around here, hardly surprising.Plans are afoot, however, to persuade 1,000 people to strip to their birthday suits and congregate en masse at a number of famous Manchester landmarks.A strange exercise, perhaps, but not so if you are at all familiar with Spencer Tunick’s photographic work.Here’s Spencer:
And here’s an example of the type of photo he’s famous for:
So you get it now – he’s the naked people photographer.If you think it’s a bit nippy to do it up in Manchester, however, have a look at this one – on a glacier.
I’m impressed everyone turned up – no one got cold feet.Get it?I said I’m impressed nobody got cold...oh, never mind. Manchester landmarks due to be given the Spencer treatment are rumoured to include the Lowry museum (Spencer is, apparently, very inspired by L.S’s work) and Albert Square.Anyone wishing to take part in the mass nudity event can register their interest on The Lowry’s website.
We noticed something on the main site the other day, something a little out of the ordinary – lots of people were arriving there after typing ‘Fernando’s Manchester’ into Google. I mean, lots of people – like, thousands. So we did a little investigation (i.e. I asked around the office) and discovered that Fernando’s is a bar featured in a popular Saturday night television programme called Take Me Out, hosted by Paddy McGuinness.
The programme’s finished for now, the last episode in the series having aired the other week, which probably explains the sharp rise in visits to our site from people looking for ‘Fernando’s Manchester’ on that Saturday night/Sunday morning. Further investigations were required...so I asked around the office again and did a bit of my own Google searching (No stone unturned people, no stone unturned).
My investigations revealed that Fernando’s from Take Me Out, which is lauded on the show as ‘the most romantic place in Manchester’ (with McGuinness tongue in cheek, it has to be said), isn’t in fact Fernando’s but rather Bijou, a swanky place under a bridge just down from the Manchester cathedral. To please the masses, however, we thought we’d set up a listing for Fernando’s anyway. Thousands of people can’t be wrong, eh? So here it is – Fernando’s. Fictional, but still worthy of a listing.
