X Parking

It seems its one rule for some, another for the rest of us. Not content with inflicting this great nation with such musical atrocities as Shayne Ward (hello to his fan club, by the way, if you’re still reading) and all the other tuneless desperates, Simon Cowell is also bent on flouting basic civil laws...and getting away with it.

The X Factor was in Manchester at the weekend, for those of you who didn’t know, the big news being that the nation’s princess Cheryl Cole was being replaced by Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger; Ms Cole having been inflicted by mosquito disease of choice, Malaria, after spending weeks in Africa feeding starving children with M&S meals bought with her own unfathomable fortune. What‘s that? Oh, that’s not true, she was just on holiday at a luxury resort in Tanzania.

Anyway, it’s possible Nicole was actually in to replace ‘new mum’ Danni Minogue, I’ve just learnt having read the newspaper properly, but...well, who cares. Back to the matter in hand – Cowell arrived in Manchester in his Rolls Royce, pulled up on the pavement, stuck the hand break on and went into his hotel. A traffic warden walked past, looked at the illegally parked vehicle, and walked on without doing anything. Look – someone was even there to capture the moment for us:


Regular readers will know that Manchester has a habit of attracting flippant celebrity drivers, our penchant for footballer-based themes being more than adequately catered for by those ball kickers with a taste for luxury cars. So what for Mr Cowell, then? Well, first and foremost an enquiry with the council as to why wealth and fame seem to provide immunity to minor traffic offences. Secondly, perhaps the introduction of a Swiss-inspired system, whereby offenders receive fines proportionate to their personal wealth. A millionaire got caught speeding there not so long ago – he got fined £180,000.