Macho, Phallic Manchester

DJ and prolific scribbler on the subject of ‘Manchester’, Dave Haslam has recently done a piece for the BBC website about the ‘changing cityscape’ of Manchester. It’s only short but worth a watch – have a look:



Fairly predictable stuff, I guess – Castlefield, old vs new, post-bomb regeneration. I liked his take on the Beetham Tower though - “macho, phallic power being expressed”, apparently. I hadn’t thought about it in quite that way before, I have to admit. I think I’ll be viewing the city in a slightly different light now.

Time to Invest?

News reaches us that apartments in the Media City development are going with as much as 20% off list price, with a promise that this is as low as they will get. For those ‘out of the loop’, Media City is a large development being built on ‘The City’s Iconic Waterfront’ (that’s Salford Quays) in preparation for the influx of lots of businesses – BBC, Sony, Bupa, Nike, Royal Mail – in 2010. ‘Lots of businesses’, of course, means lots of people working for them – 15,500 in fact. And what do people need? That’s right – supermarkets. Oh, and places to live, which is why an apartment in the Media City development is such a good investment.




Do I sound like and estate agent? I’m sorry about that. It is true though and if this 20% business is to be believed then it might not be the worst investment going at the moment, even if it is property. Whether this would be a savvy move or not would, naturally, remain to be seen (i.e. in five to ten years time) but then that is the nature of property investment. The problem is that for most of us to buy such an investment we’d need a little something called a mortgage and that, as they say, is the problem. I’ve heard they’ve taken to just laughing in your face now, if you go asking for one.

Late Night Entrepreneurs

The late night kebab shop is an intriguing place. On the one hand, a messy, perhaps even violent night is pretty much assured, especially if you’re in a prime city centre location. But the rewards for enduring such undoubted inconvenience must be relatively high. After all, how else would so many such places stay in business?

News that one of Britain’s most well known fast food brands, Greggs, are to attempt a foray into the late night market shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, therefore. It seems their branch on Oxford Road, one of the main late night thoroughfares in town, is applying for a license allowing them to open until 4.30am. A good thing, no doubt, for many of the student types who frequent the area and have penchant for a steak bake.



It makes me wonder therefore which areas of this potentially lucrative market are being under-exploited. After all, what better a captive audience than a very drunk, very hungry one with crumpled ten pound notes falling out of their pockets? Captive audience probably isn’t the right expression there but without anything more than the neon lights of a kebab shop to tempt them currently, maybe a unique, creative alternative would turn them into a captive audience. The only thing is, what? What do you need at 3am when you’ve had...ahem...a few drinks, other than some greasy food?

Watching The Birds In Manchester

Free entertainment in the city centre doesn’t come along very often so it should perhaps be of little surprise that when it does it’s of limited appeal. That’s not to take away anything from the news that Manchester’s resident peregrine falcons will receive some prime air time on the Exchange Square big screen, however. They’ve been flying around the city skies for a few years now and have even successfully produced offspring, which can only be a good thing. I like the thought that these little fellas are flying around above our heads while we’re all worrying about the price of petrol, or whatever it is we all think about:



Every day between 29th April and 5th July footage will be shown from a new ‘over-the-nest camera’ and an RSPB team will be on hand in the square with binoculars and telescopes to point out our feathered friends flying around in the skies above our heads. In truth, you probably won’t see much – the promised ‘action’ will no doubt involve the odd shot of an egg and a bird with a worm in its mouth but the mere fact that these creatures live here with us is, I think, reason enough to take a look.

'Three Course Menu'

More from the increasingly strange world of Manchester’s fine dining restaurants as I received the new menus this week for the ultra flamboyant Vermillion, from the looks of it (not actually eaten there ourselves yet) a palace-like place in the wastelands near Eastlands. Strange place to put a very smart restaurant that, incidentally, although I suppose being right next door to a premiership football club isn’t that bad an idea for a place that styles itself on opulence. They are looking at city centre venues though, rumour has it, which would probably be a good move.

Anyway, that’s not what I was going to write about. Following the Ithaca nonsense,Vermillion seem keen to get in on the act with their new ‘Business Lunch Menu’, which provides diners with a choice of five different menus to choose from. I don’t have a problem with that – I’m sure it’s all very nice, but posh-restaurant-stupidity syndrome strikes again at the bottom as they describe each ‘menu’ as being three courses. Tea or coffee is now, apparently, a course. Laughable, if it wasn’t so earnestly tragic. Here's a snapshot for you - we got a four year old child to point out the important bit:


My Guinness investigations started last night, incidentally, as I popped into the Town Hall Tavern to kill half an hour. There was an old guy at the bar drinking a pint of the black stuff, which is generally considered a good sign – old men don’t take any crap, especially when beer’s involved. I asked him how his pint was. ‘Very nice’ he told me but I was unfortunately soon to realise that his taste buds must have been somewhat diminished by his years. The scores were recorded as follows:

Pour: 8/10. Left to settle and topped up nicely.
Look: 5/10. The head weakened significantly within a minute.
Taste: 6/10. Unmistakably Guinness and not the worst pint I’ve ever had but it was watery and had a slightly tobacco-tinged aftertaste, which isn’t a good thing.

Nice pub though and friendly staff and locals but the best Guinness in Manchester? No. The search continues.